Our Current Crops of Congressmen and Women

Most of the current crops of Congress members are providing me with a lot of inspirational fodders for practicing my gun-firing salvos of political satires. Don't you just love them? Most of them are a bunch of frustrated former law-book practitioners, consummate escape clause artists and problem non-solvers. And last but not least, with a few failed third-rated theatre / mummery performers thrown in the mix.

Judging from yesteryear harvests, and knowing that leopards never change their spots, the current crops also include a strange ménagerie zoo of downright alien and unapologetically un-American beasts, all on H-1B working visas with temporary stay in Congress. These include many certifiable "Just-Hanging-Around" legislative sloths, "Acting-Career-Transference" oratory magpies, "Hooked-On-Their-Own-Conviction" intellectual Jackasses, "Charge-At-All-Cost-20/40 Hind-Sight” visionary rhinoceroses and "Burying-The-Head-In-The-Sand" reality-checker Ostriches.

Take, for examples, that former Rep. Todd “Legitimate Rape” Akin of Missouri, one GOP Senate candidate Richard “God Intended” Mourdock of Indiana and current Republican congressman Phil “Partly Right” Gingrey of Georgia, a former obstetrician-gynecologist, no less. These three clueless Stooges of misogynistic ignoramuses, and dying breed of anachronistic moral tyrannosauruses! (Nothing works me up like a charm to lighten up my present dour mood like a couple of rhymes, if you must know.)

They also secretly belong, I am led to believe, to the “silent majority” of Congressmen and women who are the loosest, trigger-happiest, most pro-NRA shootists, if you ever saw one, or three, or groups! These people shoot junks from both ends of their body orifices while spewing out their high moral wisdom nuggets from their bully pulpits like a tribunal of supreme religious pontifices. Many have that "devil-may-care", “screw-the-taxpayers” attitude, voiding their scats and dungs all over the place on our ship of state, leaving the taxpayers holding the mop and broom to pick up the “tabs”.

You can also spot the same symptomatic displays of these kinds of behaviors on some air-tube talking heads, air-wave pundits, mag-rag experts and paper-rag gurus. Well, some of them are actually mirror twins of those political types mentioned above, with no less irrelevant and irreverent chatterbox ménage à trois the like of Rush "OxyContin-Induced-Rush" Limbaugh, Sean "Finicky-Not-So-Truth-Picky" Hannity, and Ann "Anti-Current-Culture" Coulter, to name a few. Don’t they make strange unlikely bed fellows even in this age of live reality show? I’d like to think so.

However, it's unfair to lump up all members of Congress and other public servants whose integrity and hearts are in the right place in one same category. They are few and far between. Here are a few that come to mind. Independent Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders is an independent thinker and straight shooter and has a lot of good ideas on our current pressing issues about tax and Wall Street reforms, Citizens United, entitlements, balancing budgets and deficit reduction. Newly elected Democratic Senator Elizabeth Warren of Massachusetts is another promising and yet untested one; I pinch a lot of hope on her.

On the public service side, former Big Apple's Senator Hillary Rodham Clinton and now retired Secretary of State is worthy of our gratitude for her years of service to our great nation's causes and her answer and dedication to the call of duty. Senator John "Maverick" McCain, despite a promising start, turned out to be a little disappointment. I hope he'll get back to his old grooves and put country first and his own interests second when comes to serving our country, as he did so well during our unfortunate war in Vietnam. I'll call these men and women "statesmen and women" to distinguish them from the other nasty bunch, the quintessential "politicians".

Ah, politicians, what are we going to do without them!? Politics are dirty business. Only real stinko-philiacs dare to venture off to this miasma of obnoxious blow-offs and blow-hards! One can only wonder and flatulate. Uh . . . postulate!

(Note: flatulate, an intransitive verb, a coined, derivative verb from "flatulence", a non-abstract noun probably derived from a high Medieval Latin word "flatus". Now you know the rest of the story . . . and here you are. . . at the end of my post!. . . Ppuff!!!) ;-)