Expanded Notes on the 2016 Republican National Convention

The policy pranks, uh . . . planks that support the GOP political platform are so stressed by Donald Trump's super-sized ego and BMIs (Big Macho Index and Body Mass Index) that it'll surely collapse like a house of cards. Those policy planks are, for all intents and purposes, in fact pranks, they are called Donald Trump’s follies.

"The platforms" lamented one exterminator Jeb! delegate, "are so full of corporate tax loop-holes and so infested with Darwin capitalist termites that they are untenable, unsalvageable and supportable." "Yup, siree Bob," barked an ex-navy seal Ted Cruz super delegate, "and they squeak and squeal like a storm-battered sinking GOP ship, dragged down by Donald’s near-sight visions and foot-in-the-mouth commentaries, it is going down with Donald’s weak small hands clutching at the helm." "Donald Trump is beyond hopeless," sniffed one NAACP director from the regional chapter and a local Weight Watcher office executive, "one can't possibly help a person who is prone to and yet feels upright about throwing his racist, demagoguery and misogynous weights around."

This was for the first time in many years that the RNC was seen without a Bush, leaving the presumptive, annoyed, uh . . . anointed nominee exposed, with all his naked and unsightly ambitions on full display, with no moderately cultivated GOP-ism of the 41st Bush to cover up. Personally, I don’t think it would make any differences, however thick, trimmed or bare the Bushes are. They could not hide the bombastic disregards and disrespect for common decency, moderation, convention and the overblown and fragile ego Donald has repeatedly flaunted in public.

Trump was the proverbial emperor in his new suit, he has no clues on what he is doing, and blissfully unaware the consequences of his actions and words. In the process, he unintentionally exposes his own shortcomings, ignorance to the ridicules of others. In this convention, Donald Trump did exactly that, he proudly donned his new suit, and paraded in all his naked glory, leaving no imagination to come between the gawkers and his disappointing and hugely unimpressive, dare I say, “crown jewels”, which shouldn't be seen in the bright light of day. Let alone during a national convention! And on live TV, to boot! According to the verdicts of majority of media political pundits: Trump threw a dark veil over Reagan’s portrait of a “shining city on the hill” America in his acceptance speech. He had a chance to show his “hands” in this convention, but he came out short.

If hands and hair are a good measure of a man's macho machismo, among other things, according to the man, Trump himself, then when the campaign smoke clears and the electoral game called, it'll reveal the suite of cards Donald has is of lesser hands and without a trump in it. The only illegitimate cards he managed to secret up in his sleeves or under his hair are a pair of xenophobic anti-Muslim King of Clubs, and an anti-immigration Ace of Spades. Beside these, he has abundant misinformation tricks and hypocritical boasts, in spades, so to speak. In addition to his addiction for self-aggrandizements and ego-maniacal exploits, Trump is also a twitter-holic, his knee-jerk reflexes and overwhelming urge to caw like a raven, upon a slightest provocation, is legendary. Donald is easily annoyed, you see. Instead of “@RealDonaldTrump”, he should change his twitter handle to “@RealJimCrow”. His twitter appendage, uh . . . handle, like his other appendages, his hair and hands, their impressions are greatly exaggerated. He is but a narcissistic, publicity-hound male counterpart of the “Kim Kardashian of the Instagram world” in the twitter-sphere.

It will further show that the only crown the presumptuous newly crowned emperor wearing is but a barren, uninhabitable piece of real estate and unintellectual property, known also as the top, uh . . . crown of his uncultivated head, well covered-up, just like his bankruptcies, by misappropriating and re-directing funds, uh . . . in this case, hair; and ultimately, both have proven to be “hugely” unsuccessful and misguided efforts. Now, that is splitting hair, if you ask me.

Remember, if you don’t vote, you are voting for Trump!


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